A noob’s guide to the Rave
Bruised, sweating and covered in beer—ah, the Rave is truly the best place to be on a Friday night. Live shows get your blood pumping like nothing else, but there are certain people you need to look out for. For your convenience, here’s a list of a the important ones:
1. The hardcore fans
What to look for: These people show up a minimum of 8 hours before the doors open. Most likely, they know a lot about the band: full names, musical influences, relationship statuses, shoe sizes, what each member ate for breakfast, etc. These are the people whose life is so attached to the band; it’s hard to determine a line of demarcation.
Word of advice: Know your place; they will break your nose if you cut in front of them during the show.
2. The overly-generous-so-people-think-he’s-cool-guy
What to look for: These guys and gals are pretty easy to spot. They show up in the line an hour before the show and love to make small talk. You’ll learn a lot about them: their life goals, how they never really had a mother, and—if you’re lucky, they’ll show you a crinkled picture of themselves with the band. (It is critical to feign interest.) Before you know it, they’ll be offering to buy you drinks, get you food and save your place in line. They also seem to love wearing converse shoes.
Word of advice: Befriend as quickly as possible.
3. The shameless groupies
What to look for: These folks will have on more desperation that anything else. They stalk the group after the show while touching up their painted arms which read “So-and-so have my babies.” They ooze class. They are amusing, and no concert would be complete with them.
Word of advice: Mocking possibilities are endless, make contact at least once.
4. All the single ladies! (and guys)
What to look for: It’s no secret that some men and women believe their perfect significant other exists amongst music, lights and booze. Some of them are harmless, but others are on a mission. They come in all shapes and sizes, but they always have a drink in hand. They smile awkwardly at anything (and anyone), and often laugh after you tell a private joke to your friend. They are immune to any social cue displaying disgust.
Word of advice: There’s potential for waists to be grabbed and innocence lost. Proceed with caution.
5. The creepers
What to look for: It’s easy to confuse these with the single crowd, but creepers take creepy to an entirely new level. You’ll be able to pick them out from the unnaturally minty breath they puff within inches of your face. The sentiment “less is more” is completely lost on this group; you’ll find them drowning in pools of cologne and perfume as they assess the best route into your jeans.
Words of advice: Avoid flirtatious behavior. These people will follow you to your car.
While you won’t meet all of these crazy characters at every show, it’s always good to be prepared. As Smokey the Bear once told us, “Only you, can prevent forest fires.” So true, Smokey, so true.
Check out full show listings here.
Tags: concerts, fans, stereotypes, The Rave
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